Comedy Bronze 013 – Saddle Up, Civil Starships!

Comedy Bronze

Comedy Bronze 013 – Saddle Up, Civil Starships!

Civil War, Star Citizen and some third thing probably.

Sean fucking nails it, Civil Wars’ greatest weakness is that it is essentially a laundry list of outcomes wrapped up in a theme. Not a premise and a bunch of stories exploring its themes. (Please note this is rampant speculation. I have no idea how the series was written, but this is just what it feels like)
How I imagine Civil War being written is that editorial handed down the list of things it wanted to be enacted within the next year. The writing staff were given the challenge of concocting a coherent excuse for all of these things to happen. The list might have looked like this:

1. Kill Captain America
2. Put Tony Stark in charge of S.H.I.E.L.D
3. Shoot Hulk into space, in preparation for future events.
4. Reveal Spider-Man’s secret identity. (Given Joe Quesada’s ludicrous efforts to suppress this after-the-fact, this one probably wasn’t on the list. But it’s a big event so whatever.)
5. Create a nationwide set of super-teams (the 50 states initiative)
6. Create a prison capable of holding super-villains.
7. Put Norman Osborne in charge of something.
8. Thor clone!
9. Create a new status quo with a built-in excuse for heroes to fight each other.
10 . Introduce the Illuminati.
11. Get a bunch of miscellaneous crap in place for the upcoming Skrull invasion.

The superhero registration act and its after-effects are nothing more than an excuse to get these things to happen. That’s why it’s precise text is never defined, that’s why the exact motives of the two factions seem to shift based on the issue and the writer, and that’s why in the end I don’t find Civil War terribly satisfying.
Although the moment where The Punisher refuses to fight Cap is pretty great.
Here is the “how much have you spent on star citizen” poll:
(it’s much worse than I thought. $500 plus is the most common response)
Kris Straub is brilliant (so jealous).

Splattoon creepy sounds if you really care that much.


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