Comedy Bronze 011 – Vegetable Perlman has a Feeling

Comedy BronzeComedy Bronze 011 – Vegetable Perlman has a Feeling

Comedy Bronze continues into episode 11! One day I will have a blog post that does not start with a small mountain of embedded YouTube videos, but today is not that day:

Here are all the trailers from SDCC

Better minds than mine have gone over Uwe Bolle (and his many crimes against cinema) at great length. say what you like about the man, at least he gets his films made. Or not, as the case may be.

Dungeon Siege is not very good. I realise it is ambiguous whether I mean the game or the film. Both. I mean both.

Ron Perlman really is a treasure, and elevates everything he’s in – I just remembered he’s in Pacific Rim and it was the greatest. I’m probably going to give Angry Judge a look.

This “record an episode immediately after waking up” business might have something to it. Also I think this is the cleanest audio I have ever gotten of myself, I didn’t even run any noise removal on it because it already sounded fine. The secret is to record in a room full of furniture with every single electronic device turned off. Then freeze to death in the depths of Melbourne winter.

Tony Zhou (whose name I mispronounced to what I am sure was an offensive degree. Sorry Tony.), Made this great video about Jackie Chan’s style of martial arts direction:

The rest of his channel is amazing as well, well worth the watch.

Buy Bruce Campbell’s book I guess? I should get an affiliate link setup or something, make some money off these sweet referrals. Also Caro syrup has more common in with treacle than molasses, but as previously mentioned I was not firing on all cylinders.

Okay, supervillains. A lot of people didn’t like Ronan in the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, comparing him to a petulant child or an angsty teenager, but I thought he was great. He had a clear motivation and the actions he undertook in the story were in the direct pursuit of his stated goal. Also, despite his ridiculous eye make-up and grumpy face, he did at least seem to be kind of enjoying his almost-victory. I adored Zod in Man of Steel for similar reasons, with bonus points for being the most reasonable character on screen for most of the film. Everyone loves Loki (or everyone loves Tom Hiddleston and it’s kind of tough to separate them at this point) and I think it’s because of these qualities.

Who else have we had? Iron Man had two separate corrupt corporate executives and Mickey Rourke with a laser whip. Plus whoever the shit was the antagonist in Iron Man 3. It is really disappointing that Dr Doom, Marvel’s greatest living repository of scenery-chewing villainy, is probably never going to make it into an MCU film. What a bummer. Let me put it this way: my base level reference for supervillain job satisfaction is The Monarch. If your villain isn’t enjoying his or her job at least as much as The Monarch, a certifiable failure in a butterfly costume, go back and try again.


The last few pages that I reference in the episode consist of Riddler having the time of his goddamn life explaining to Batman that he was the mastermind behind the entire scheme. It is glorious.

(highlight to reveal)


Yeah, I stick up for Gotham City Sirens a lot more than it deserves. The first trade is really great stuff, but pretty much everything after Dini leaves is entirely forgettable. The ending at least makes sense in terms of the premise that the series worked from: the sirens go their separate ways after a bunch of crap happens and they no longer trust each other. It was never going to work long-term; Selena is too canny, Harley too unstable and Ivy too inhuman for the partnership to last. The final arc is pretty cool because you get to see what Harley is really capable of when she puts her mind to it, but really depressing when she once again runs back into Jokers arms. Bad feelings all round.

There’s an entire issue where Catwoman goes off and fights some dick in a Crusader outfit because of some bullshit that was going on in the bat comics at this time. She’s absent for a fairly major event at the end of Sirens and this is the in-universe explanation for it. I don’t want to complain too much, I would much rather that trade collections of comics put in spin-off issues like this than the alternative. At least you’re not left with big gaps in the story.

I’m looking at you, John Byrne’s Man of Steel trades. Where is the other half of your plot you joke of a comic? Fucking ridiculous.

Youtube doesn’t seem to have a copy of Lava yet, just a couple of cam rips and some lyrics videos for some reason. Here’s why I don’t like it: the Disney and Pixar cinematic shorts have always been celebrations of animation, motion and humour. Lava stars two completely stationary protagonists and spends its entirety trying to compensate. You’ve got whales and birds and turtles and volcanic vents and a ridiculous, saccharin song explaining every aspect of the plot; all there to distract you from the fact that the premise sucks.


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